haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
