OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
