i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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