i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
