I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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