Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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