I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
