Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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