Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
