I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
