They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
