he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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