Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
