Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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