some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
