Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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