i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am naked and annoyed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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