Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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