Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How does it feel to date your dad?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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