Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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