Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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