do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
