Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
