I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
