im having a threesome with these popsicles
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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