one two three fourrrrnication!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
