I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You made out with two different species that night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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