If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
His nipple licking is glorious
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