While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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