Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
