i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
