I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
