I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
