who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
