yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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