I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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