Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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