I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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