I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The air taste purple.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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