is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
