ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize