I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
