Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
