we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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