You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
