Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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