I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
