The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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