I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
