What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
