it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
