You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
