I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
