Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
