So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
