just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
