Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
