woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
